Fantasmagoria

 She was bootless and earnest. Her name was Lively and I met her in front of a forest. “Hello,” she said and then pronounced my name so strangely that I first couldn’t recognize it. Then, I realized I’ve never seen her so how did she know my name? I asked her. She was so unusually dressed that thoughts about her age and ancestry came into my mind but I drove them out.

 “My name is Lively. I know you because you are alive. I know everyone who pays me visit and enters to life.” Her face was full of knowledge and wisdom although she couldn’t be more than fifteen. “I don’t understand. I’ve never seen you before.” “But of course you have.” It was the first moment I saw her smile. “I know nothing about it,” I refused. “Moreover, you are far younger than I so that you couldn’t know me when I used to be a baby!” I added. It was a crushing superiority of relevant facts and I was sure about my being right.

 “You think I am far younger. You have never been thinking about life, have you?” Her searching look pierced me through. Her eyes were lightening with bright green and contrasting with her long wavy blond hair.

 “Lively, you have no right to question me. What is your name like? You’ve certainly lied to me. It is nonsense to be named like that. I don’t believe you a word!” I suddenly became incredibly angry for a moment. She seemed to get dumpish. Her voice was strangely high but agreeable for listening. I started almost to regret her when I realised how little and fragile creature she is. “I knew you will not understand. Why must I try it again and again?” She seemed not to notice my presence. “Every time you burn and never moralize. For life of mankind, do it never again.” My feelings turned into deep regret.

 I just had to find out who she was. “Who are you?” “I’ve told you. I am Lively.” “But what does that mean?” “That means that I am cursed to stay alive in a childish body and never to die when I am Lively. It means I will be staying here till I am renamed.” “Renamed? It suffices? It’s easy, isn’t it?” “You don’t understand. Nobody understands.” “So what should you do to die? Well, do you really wish to die? I mean, in fact, it isn’t bad, don’t get old. I would take it joyfully!” “Oh, my little fool! Do you know how old I am? What time does mean for me? ‘Tis nothing! All! This entire world is full of emptiness, but what emptiness! I am an example of immortality and you ask me whether I would rather die! Of course I would! This world is like a trap and do you know what is beyond? It is all based on hate and evil! There is no iron inside this piece of earth, no metal, there is no earth at all, it isn’t more than a little empty bubble of people’s stupidity!” She was crying and gesticulating wildly, her eyes became full of fire. But then, suddenly, it all disappeared. She kindly turned to me and started again with that smooth voice and peaceful smile.

 “But you are an exemplar. I might explore you, not? I might explore what a mankind means but it will only show that you are but an unsuccessful joke.” “Hey, Lively, stop. Please. I didn’t want to provoke you, really not.” “This is always like this. I just wanted to make a friend. Young friend, you know, the old die too soon. I wouldn’t do many things with an old friend, one doesn’t actually catch it.” A monologue started again. “You seemed hopefully. But now... what should I think of you after this all? You will come to yours and call police. Then, they will be looking for me all the week, needlessly. What do you think you will reach by this? They will think you got mad. I will never be found until I want it myself. No human will ever be a friend of mine.” “Indeed. No human,” I agreed. She was slowly becoming gravel-voiced. Her speech was more and more silent. I had to make effort to hear her.

 “Nature is destined to be my friend. I am supposed to talk with my loneliness and to feel happy in a centre of an empty joke. Ok, I will try. Lively, you must get renamed.” “But how could you get renamed?” “Only by some ritual I don’t know. There is some, I am sure of it. But what is it like...” She sat down on cold earth. I wondered whether she wasn’t cold. “I? Cold? Consider who I am.” “So... what about a new beginning? I will call you differently. Which name do you like?” She laughed. “Do you really think it is so easy? I am not only named Lively, I am Lively. I must become someone else.” Lively seemed so sadly that I felt I really wanted to help her. We were thinking about it but no idea appeared.

 “Well, how did you get here?” Ideas were coming through my mind without any effect. “I don’t know. I just am. I don’t get anywhere, I am. I don’t walk anywhere, I think. I don’t think, I am.” “My God, I don’t understand at all!” Lively nodded. “Yes, I am aware of the fact.” “And couldn’t you just wish?” She smiled sadly. “Just wish? Do you think I’ve never tried it? My little silly girl.” “Isn’t it possible through a human? I am a human. You could become a human. You could try something else...” I hesitated for a moment but then, in absolute despair, I hawked and pronounced: “I rename you, you are not Lively any more, you are destined to die after all and to rest calmly forever...”

 In the moment a green flame burst from her eyes I woke up. I was lying in front of the forest and that morning, time has disappeared.